Oh, The Things You Will See

Oh, The Things You Will See

I’ve volunteered a good amount over the years in several different venues. However, the oddest place I ever volunteered was at a local food bank of sorts.

For the most part, I’d sort donations in the clothes room. Sounds boring, doesn’t it? Not exactly. In addition to finding clothes from every decade since the sixties, there were other, more confusing finds.

Garish high heels that would only fit a large man? Check.

Adult toys and contraceptives? Check, used and new.

Half – empty (or full, if you’re an optimist) bottles of medications? Check, along with personal medical information.

An executed search warrant connected to a high-profile local murder case? Check. I kept that as a souvenir, and as proof that I actually found it.

Forms filled with anything you’d need to steal the person’s identity? Check. And people wonder how that sort of thing happens.

That’s only scratching the surface. If I started on the people who volunteered and were helped by the place, I wouldn’t know where to stop. From the creepy butt-slapping lady to the old man who took off his pants in public to the dog that hated me because of my hood, there were a lot of things that would make you twitch. And slap someone. And twitch some more.