g-rod

Me In Under 180 Words
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke-free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstructionist; politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been uplinked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive. Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet and pushing the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I’ve got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top but under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic ward missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial. I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless. I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers. I’m a true-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case, pre-maturely post-traumatic but, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing – a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports. I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant. I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean. Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I’m hanging in, there ain’t no doubt and I'm hanging tough, over and out!

What Inspires Me
Like most creative minds, I find inspiration all around me. Mostly I find it in pop culture.

In My Spare Time
I read, write masterpiece novels, draw graphic novels, surf the net, and play a few video games. Recently I've been getting into paintball, which is taking up alot of my spare time.

My Guilty Pleasures
Guitar Hero!...wait...I'm not guilty about that...

The World's Greatest Creative Achievements
Women, the written word, ramen noodles, beef jerky and VHS (the birth of home video. Sorry DVDs, but you didnt start the fire!) Now currently, my greatest achievement to this world is the novel I've been trying to write, currently titled "Dead Men Killing".

Why You Should Check Out My Stuff
Cuz I'm awesome! ;)

TV Shows
Sons of Anarchy, Saturday Night Live, South Park, Code Monkeys, NCIS, Scrubs, Law and Order: SVU, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Monk, Animaniacs, Looney Tunes, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Chapelle's Show, the Sopranos, Dogfights, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Shootout

Music
Pretty much anything that qualifies as actual music, but here's some of my personal favorites (in no particular order): Def Leppard, Metallica, the Eagles, Montgomery Gentry, Patsy Cline, John Mellencamp, Velvet Revolver, Deep Purple, 2pac, Jimi Hendrix, Avenged Sevenfold, Loretta Lynn, Skid Row, The Fabulous Thunderbirds, Nickelback, Bob Segar, Hank Williams Sr. and Jr., Led Zepplin, Garth Brooks, The Outlaws, Aerosmith, Alice in Chains, Poison, Switchfoot, Carrie Underwood, Queen, Sebastian Bach, Waylon Jennings, Black Sabbath, Boston, Ozzy Osbourne, Ray Charles, AC-DC, Johnny Cash, Rolling Stones, Nirvana, Toby Keith, Twisted Sister, Snoop Dogg, Blue Oyster Cult, Michael Jackson, Bob Dylan, Guns n' Roses

Movies
Scarface, the Warriors, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 300, This is Spinal Tap, Die Hard, Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Child's Play, Pirates of the Caribbean, Dracula, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Beetlejuice, Goodfellas, The Shining, The Outsiders, Halloween, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Good Morning Vietnam, The Mask, Friday the 13th, The Godfather, Caddyshack, James Bond, the original Star Wars trilogy, the original Gone in 60 Seconds