brijazz

truthfully, i don't think it's worth it to even find out. just be glad you're done with all that awkward crap with him. now just like you said, pretend like everything is just peachy. grin and bear it.

hmf, we both have hectic lives :/
but yeah so i think the kinnus is almostttt done. we'll make it, don't worry :]
but omg i'm lying to my mom now that i read my chemistry chapter already so that she'll just get off my back. i seriously can't stand her say "you're not taking your work seriously enough," to me one more time. i seriously might like punch her in the face.
but i'm gonna go shopping tonight to get nice outfits for the kinnus :D so that's putting me in a better mood.

but NYU is a great school so i'm sure they have a business program. it's not too far from ivy league level actually. it also costs just as much. even though it's not ivy league, you pay for it like it is :/ but it's still an amazing school, i'd love to go there! and i also live really close to NYC so i could live at home and just take the train and a subway into school everyday and if i have time between classes, i could hang out in the City and shop! and if you go there and i also go there then we can actually meet and be like in person friends too! haha, i'm getting excited :P

ok so would it be terrible to say that this Mikey guy sounds like a complete douche bag?...i mean like i don't really know him but the way things have been going between you two : /

and ugh omg so i just told you about what i've been doing for this kinnus and what still needs to be don, right? right. so like i still have to clean my whole house like tomorrow night. i'm skipping school on friday for this cause it starts on firday at 3pm. and i have to go shopping for my outfits for the weekend tomorrow! i have nothing to wear. at least i don't have to pack to go somewhere else cause i'm staying at my own house for this one :] but like my school work is also piling up and conflicting with the kinnus preparations. i have a whole research paper to write tonight and i haven't started yet D: how am i supposed to write a 3-4 page paper and still hope to get some sleep?!? all i've got done is my outline and i gaven't even read my articles yet! and i have to e-mail it in tonight before i go to sleep cause i don't have class with that teacher tomorrow. and i have an essay to write during lunch tomorrow that was supposed to be an in class essay on friday but i won't be there on friday so i have to do it tomorrow during lunch. and i'm supposed to have a Global history test on friday too but i won't be there so i can't take it until like wednesday of next week or something like that. i just made up a test today and i made up a test and a quiz on monday. i ended up getting a 70 on my Chemistry test that i thought i knew the material so well and i had like a break down with my parents yesterdya of how i'm going to be a failure in life because i'm just barely passing Chemistry and i'm stupid and all that. like my mom wants me to be a doctor and i guess the idea sounds nice but like i'd rather do a job that i don't have to think about like that. i don't enjoy math or science. i'm good at english and spanish and bible class. like the language related subjects are what i'm good at and it makes no sense for me to be a doctor when i suck at math and science (even though i'm in honors classes for both). but like my mom is saying that i won't get into NYU let alone Princeton because Princeton is my dream school and NYU is my saftey net in case i don't make it in (which i won't). so she saying that even the college that she works at, i wouldn't be able to get into when she doesn't even work at such a smart college. she works at NYIT. ever heard of it? didn't think so. my point exactly. whereas, it doesn't matter where you live, everybody on the planet has heard of both NYU and Princeton University.
ughh i feel like i'm so young so why should i have to make all of these decisions now but my mom is pushing me and pressuring me and i can't function under those conditions! D:

:] i like talking to you about it too. i feel all important giving advice :P
and yeah, if she like crosses the wrong person :/

and i think i'm back down to just like 10 girls actually. my dad flipped out yesterday when i told him that my mom said we could take in an extra 5 girls haha. but it would have been too much, i just felt like i had to save the day and take care of everyone, you know?
i'm really doing a lot for this weekend. i'm gonna take off friday so i can get some sleep and then be energetic for the rest of the kinnus. i'm leading 3 programs during the weekend. i just finished the banner tonight, single-handedly if i might add. and we've got everybody housed now. one of the other kids took home the centerpiece materials so he's going to finish that hopefully tonight and maybe tomorrow if he has to. so like, we're really close to done but it's just really hectic cause it's in less than two days.

You too miss Pica. ;)

Thank u

hahaha i've never heard that one before, boys are like purses, ahhh hahah, that's great! i like that one!
and i think you should just keep doing what you're doing and let him approach you first. don't be mean or confront him anymore. the best thing to do is just wait it out and if you see him, be polite and do the half wave. that'll show that you don't hate him and you're willing to still be civil with him, it's just up to him if he wants to be mature enough or not to do the same and just be friends again. did you follow that? (i think it may have sounded a little confusing.)

and Eden? i haven't spoken to her in a few days but she much better now. i think she realizes that in order to be a good friend to me, she has to respect my privacy and trust. she's going to be sleeping over at my house this weekend for another one of my "kinnuses." this time, my temple is hosting it so i'm housing like 15 girls...oyy this should be hectic lol.

haha i'm not exactly the attract a crowd type lol. but that's not a bad idea :]

and i hate when that happens where i'll be writing like a novel to someone and they'll just be like "yeah," "no," "ok." ughh, i hate that cause then you think they're part of the conversation but when you think back to it, you realize you did all the talking and then you feel like a complete idiot. am i right? ughh, hate that situation.
but seriously, that sounds terrible. that's like vital information too lol. idk why you left that out.
and under those circumstances, i'm getting kinda convinced too that you shouldn't go. i was under the impression that it would just be that guy and the girl as a couple and then it would be you and a group of friends. i didn't realize that basically everyone would be a couple and you'd be the only single one. i guess like it's possible that you could still have fun on the trip but if you turn around and it's just like *hook up, hook up, hook up* then that does make things awkward and it makes it much more possible that you could have an entirely miserable time :[

ohh. i see i see.

and just eh. lol. idk. XD

yeah i guess i had fun. it was one of my youth group things. i don't know if i told you what a kinnus is so just in case i didn't, it's where kids from my youth group all gather at one temple and we pray, eat, sing, play games, hang out, and learn together and then at night we go to people's houses that volunteer to house us (like people that don't even know us but they're from the congregation so it's ok lol). oh and then there's a dance on saturday night. so yeah, i cried a bit at the dance cause of my self consciousness and all. that was sad but like i ended up dancing anyway like i always do and i had a fun time at the dance anyway :] the rest of that weekend was fun just because i was able to see my friends again that i haven't seen in a few weeks plus i got to meet some new people.

and omg..that sucks. but i don't think you should stay home and deny yourself the right to have a good time too. you know that if you just stay home, you have even LESS of a chance of having any fun because you'll be thinking about what your friends (and not friends) are doing the whole time. at least if you go, you'll be able to be there and stick up for yourself and show that it really doesn't matter what anybody else does or thinks. what matters is what you think and just by going, you're proving that you're the "bigger person" and you can deal with this. if that stupid guy wants to go and be all immature, let him. you're going for yourself, so that you can have fun. and if you're there, you can also control what happens more. if you're not there, then anybody can say whatever they want and do whatever they want. but if you're there, people will watch themselves with what they say more which brings me back to that you'll be there to stick up for yourself if that guy does say anything stupid.

sorry, i was away for the weekend. sooo, how did things go with that guy?